I’m just so done. I can feel myself getting worse. So much worse. It’s all going downhill, i don’t know why and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I keep trying to fast but I’m so pathetic and I keep eating. And I had so much chocolate today. I tried to exercise but I couldn’t leave the house so I had to do crunches and push-ups. Still feeling like a fat pathetic failure. I just want to die. I don’t want to do this anymore. The bad is outweighing the good. Well, it’s more like there is no bad and there is no good. I’m just numb. I’ve totally lost myself and I don’t know how. I don’t know what I’m feeling, I don’t know what to do, I just don’t know who I am. I just want to die. But I’m scared. What will happen when I die? Not, who I’m leaving behind. But where am i going to go? Is there a God waiting for me in Heaven? Will I get sent to Hell? Or do I get to spend eternity in the darkness? I’m scared to die but I want to die. I’m begging, I don’t know who I’m begging but I’m begging someone to let me die.

I’m just so done. I can feel myself getting worse. So much worse. It’s all going downhill, i don’t know why and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I keep trying to fast but I’m so pathetic and I keep eating. And I had so much chocolate today. I tried to exercise but I couldn’t leave the house so I had to do crunches and push-ups. Still feeling like a fat pathetic failure. I just want to die. I don’t want to do this anymore. The bad is outweighing the good. Well, it’s more like there is no bad and there is no good. I’m just numb. I’ve totally lost myself and I don’t know how. I don’t know what I’m feeling, I don’t know what to do, I just don’t know who I am. I just want to die. But I’m scared. What will happen when I die? Not, who I’m leaving behind. But where am i going to go? Is there a God waiting for me in Heaven? Will I get sent to Hell? Or do I get to spend eternity in the darkness? I’m scared to die but I want to die. I’m begging, I don’t know who I’m begging but I’m begging someone to let me die.

andthatswhenidecidedtobreakit

wibblywobblygendywendy:

johncougar:

weirdvvolf:

papauera:

lofticri3s:

image

This was recorded by the Portsmouth Sinfonia in an experiment where all the members of the orchestra would swap instruments with each other and attempt to play them to the best of their ability.

favorite things about this

  • literally all the brass starts to get the hang of it and then the crescendos happen and everyone is like FUCK FUCK FUCK??? FUCK. JUST. BLOW RLY HARD.
  • the strings are lazy but also the same. like u can tell a lot of the ppl w/ the stringed instruments may already basically know how to play stringed instruments. like there’s definitely a section at the beginning where you hear a good portion going “oh yeah this is like. a smaller/bigger version of what i do.”
  • all you hear of any woodwinds is just “pffffttt??? pFFFTTTT???? PFFFFFTTTT I SAID PFFFFTTTT!!!!!” bc woodwinds are fucking HARD and you hear after like the first crescendo half of them just give up. they give up. they’re done. fuck this it tastes weird and my lips hurt.
  • that trumpet. that person is fucking TRYING man they fucking GOT this. they may not have figured out notes but they figured out LOUD and they GOT this.

I JUST DIED

OH FUCK IT’S BACK I CRY EVERY TIME FUCKFUCKFUCK SOMEONE HELP ME